Graduation.

My blog and I are graduating.

This week, on Thursday 18th July 2013 to be exact, I graduated from Lancaster University and feel like I have basically become an OAP overnight. Slight exaggeration, but it is a very big step in the life of Lauren Victoria Heaven and one I am very conscious of, and one that I now want my blog to reflect. 

I can hardly deny the erratic nature of my blog posts over the last couple of years and I am now determined to straighten it out, to grow up and become a better blogger. I want a massive revamp, of both the appearance and subject matter, moving away from such a book orientated title and entering into the realm of lifestyle blogging. It sounds pretentious but it merely means I can blog about a wide variety of subjects which I love: food, music, sport, films and of course, books. It is no secret that my ideal job would be one involving words and my blog is a means of practising this.

Now to choose a new title. With my surname it is very tempting to go down the puntastic route but as yet I have not made a decision. I was considering ‘theheavenlytimes’ but after googling that and discovering a site dedicated to hot tubs that has been firmly crossed off the list. If any of you have any dazzling ideas please don't hesitate to let me know.

Watch this space for shiny new blog antics and good luck to any other new graduates out there, it's scary but god damn is it exciting too!

How to be a waster

Oh hey there! Here I am, nearing the end of July, still unsuccessful in finding a job and feeling like a bum...and here are my top survival tips on how to deal with being a waster.

1)      Go on a holiday you can’t afford. During term time when me and my girls booked said holiday to Tenerife I convinced myself I could afford it, probably because my bank balance was still in positive figures. Now I’m £700 overdrawn I am aware I couldn’t really afford the holiday, but it was bloody brilliant anyway! Nothing like a week of sun, sea and sand. I’m aware of how cliché that sounds but they were our main priorities. And food. I am still being haunted by the memory of the most succulent garlic prawns I had one night, but a welcome haunting, unlike the memory of the rum and cokes the excessively generous waiter served me for predrinks at the hotel one night, I shudder at that recollection.

2)      Discover (invent/convince yourself of) new passions. First of all, it was tennis – with Wimbledon on our teleboxes it was hard to miss. I do watch Wimbledon most years, but my enthusiasm this year was borderline sad...I even watched the doubles finals. Then the Tour de France came around, and cycling became my new thing. I didn’t realise this had affected me so much until I suggested a bike ride one day to Dean, which he happily consented to, being a bit of a bike freak himself. I then discovered that a leopard print play suit and brogues are not suitable attire, according to the many people who stared at me during our trip. I also have to mention I was on a man’s bike, so perhaps I did look a bit odd. Due to my sport obsession it’s safe to say I’m looking forward to the Olympics, so many to choose from! I have even bought a new sports bra for the occasion as I have been inspired to start running again...too much information? Soz. As I am netball captain next year I decided I need to be the fittest on the team, cardiovascularly* that is.

3)      Get out of the house as much as possible. Now I’m lucky here, as my mum has recently set up a dog walking business I have started accompanying her on her walks, and then when I’m not there I’m at my Dad’s so I actually have my own dogs to walk, so don’t have to borrow other people’s. I have also been visiting the library quite frequently, although not frequently enough as I had to pay a £1.80 fine the other day. Obviously this was an error on my part, fines do not coincide with my waster advice, unnecessary expenditure is to be avoided at all costs. Unless it is a night out in Leeds with the girls, but this is to be done on a budget: I spent £18 on Saturday, including my end of the night happy meal!

So in summary, I’m plodding along quite nicely. Dean just bought a car so lots of roadtrips are on the horizon! Ooh and I got my results last week and got a solid 2:1 so am quite happy with that, something to build upon next year. I may well start my dissertation research soon if I can drag myself away from watching synchronised swimming/judo/any-other-sport-that-isn’t-usually-deemed-spectator-worthy-except-for-every-4-years-during-the-Olympics.**

*made up word alert.

** ridiculously hyphenated word alert.

Summer (not)

Where is the British Summertime?! Has it been and gone already? Good thing me and the girls head off to Tenerife in a week, oh yeaaaaaah. Gonna get my tan on. Actually still need to change my money, get insurance and buy a few last minute goodies, aka CLOTHES. Why is it that every year I buy new summer clothes and yet every time a holiday comes along I convince myself I don’t have enough clothes...it’s tough being a girl. Don’t even get me started on how hard it is to find the perfect bikini if your boobs dare be any bigger than a C cup. Excessively difficult.

However, the last week or so I’ve been tied up housesitting for my Dad, hence not ticking off any of my to-do list. As occurs every 6 months or so, my Dad and his girlfriend jet off on an awesome holiday, this particular time to Sweden and Denmark, and I housesit for them. It’s a recurring theme in my blog because I often go stir crazy whilst I’m there but this time round it was lovely, apart from the weather...not sure if there was one completely dry day over the last 10 days or so?! It was so horrible I actually lit the fire one night! This ridiculous weather has added to my desire to leave England when I graduate this time next year, I cannot deal with drizzle in July! Maybe people will be more inclined to employ me abroad...

As I was forced to spend a lot of time inside, except for a number of depressing dog walks, I spent the majority of time watching sport and doing an awful lot of cooking. Risotto, cupcakes, lasagne to name but a few. Yes, I am a domestic Goddess and yes, I like sport too. I am currently considering marriage proposals boys. Ha! That's a joke if you're reading Dad, don't freak out.

Biggest news of the last month or so is that I HAVE A NEW PHONE. It's like having a camera again, I'm so happy. Now enjoy the various excessively edited photos I've taken these last couple of weeks, I have omitted any ridiculously posey ones of me and my face.

howdy

I would usually start a blog apologising for how long it’s been since my last post. Especially seeing as I haven’t blogged since March. Gulp. But I’m not going to because the irregularity of my blogging has become regular. It is an erratic blog as advertised.

I have finished my second year of University. Holy wotsits. This time next year I am going to be entering the real world. This is a terrifying prospect, although I am looking forward to having my own cooking utensils/dog/sofa. 

For those of you that were wondering, second year IS harder than first year and the only advice I can offer you is to become bloody familiar with the library. Whilst surviving a month and a half of hell, aka two deadlines and three exams, the library became all too familiar and I found solace in an usual object: red lipstick. Then a few weeks later I discovered a new found love for the eyebrow pencil. They are my two favourite make up items at this moment in time. As demonstrated in my ‘hey look I’m the only loser in the library’ picture here:

As promised via twitter a few weeks ago I am now going to spoil you with blogs (when I’m not job hunting/gorging on Jenna Marbles videos).  I am also going to revamp it, once I can work out how.

Ciao for now poppets.

P.S. I am going to apologise in advance for how instagrammy (new adjective?!) my pictures on my blog are going to be from here on out, new phone bitches!

life right now

Can you believe it’s March?! Holy shmokes. I haven’t blogged since February, I’m a terrible person, yah de yah, apologies. In my defence, I’ve been swamped, second year is HARD! Who knew undertaking a degree would result in hard work? I’ve had 4 deadlines in the last 3 weeks, and actually stayed in the library ‘til closing time one night! Literally got asked to leave, it was embarrassing. I tell you what is nice though, the divine weather coincided with my essay hand-ins! Thanks world.

Now, I’m home for Easter. Ooh bunnies. As usual my Pops is taking advantage of my presence and making me housesit, so once more I shall go stir crazy living it up in the Dales. I can’t even turn him down ‘cos he’s going away for his birthday weekend. I hate March for that! My sister’s on the 23^rd, my Mum’s on the 26^th and my Dad’s on the 29^th...As you may have spotted it is the 26^th today, so I’ve spent it with my Momma, bought her flowers, made her lasagne and earned some serious daughter points. Our oven’s been broken in Lancaster so I was excited to be able to cook, I even had to break Lent because of this (sorta). I had given up takeaways, but then the oven broke and I could only cook with the microwave when I was planning a feast for the house so I thought fuck it, curry time. I’m an atheist anyway. The boyfriend was delighted.

This Easter is strange though, I can’t be a total waster for once, I have another two assignments due! Wah! I’m actually heading back to Lancaster within a couple of weeks for our NETBALL TOUR, and then to get my head down working. I might stick around at home if I had a bedroom at either of my parent’s houses, but sob story of the century, I don’t. Keep dwelling on that recently, probably shouldn’t...especially seeing as my Momma is looking to move in with her fella as soon as possible, which will result in a bedroom for me, hoorah! Into a location suited for a cat, hoorah!

On the pet theme, I walked two Staffordshire bull terriers today, and saw a beautiful blue pup at the weekend. My longing  for a staffy is getting worse and worse...coinciding with my longing for a place of my own, sometimes I think I’m too eager to grow up!

On the flip side of this, meet my new favourite photo...this is the reason I grow my hair:

February

Is allegedly my favourite month, but it is not living up to expectations. 

I took a trip home to wonderful Yorkshire the weekend prior to my birthday, which was supposed to be a relaxing time with the people I miss most when I'm away. It wasn’t quite this. It snowed. Now, I’m one of those people who wants to love snow. Let’s face it, it’s very pretty. But the only time I really love it, is when I can watch it from the comforts of my sofa/bed and not have anywhere to be/anything to do. The rest of the time, IT’S AN INCONVENIENCE. It snowed for 8 hours straight on the Saturday and the birthday bonanza I had planned with my girls completely fell through. It’s fair to say I was despondent. Luckily, 2 out of 4 of them managed to make it to my house, and we stayed in, drank wine and ate Chinese and I felt a lot better, but it wasn’t quite the posh night out we’d had planned altogether. 

Last Tuesday it was my actual birthday. It was quite lovely, I had my favourites round for drinks and we sang Enrique in emotional tones to one another ‘til the early hours of the morning. (I actually consumed 3 bottles of wine last week in as many nights but I’m trying not to focus on the excess of calories involved.) It wasn’t a day to write home about though, it felt pretty bog standard. This has never happened to me before, I think I’m getting old! However a certain someone is taking me to London for a weekend in the imminent future for my birthday, so I sort of get a second chance with the birthday excitement! But that will be March sometime, not this supposedly wonderful month of February!

Yesterday was the consumerist holiday we like to call Valentine’s Day. To be fair, I like the idea of sharing the love and romance and all that jazz, but in all honesty believe that if you really love someone you’ll tell them every day anyway and won’t rely on the card companies to remind you that it’s a nice thing to do. Also, I have a massive issue with the big card thing. Is there some sort of rule that states the bigger the card is the more I love you?! I don’t think so Clintons.

I actually spent the day holding a bake sale for our Furness Netball Tour. Romantic huh?

So there are 2 weeks left in February, and of course the best event is yet to come. Pancake Day! Hopefully this event will redeem the month for me, I intend to drown in sugar and lemon.

Sorry for the splurge of information here, I’ve been a bad blogger! For someone with only 9 contact hours a week at uni I am terribly busy. I have 4 deadlines in the next 5 weeks, WAH!

P.S. For those of you clearly in suspense over this matter, I did get a teapot for my birthday, from my pops. Not any old teapot though, it’s transparent. You can see your tea! My dad is seriously amazing at choosing presents, and on a similar note, restaurants too. On the Sunday before I came back to Lancaster we went out for lunch at a place called The Tempest Arms. I had ‘pan-fried local pheasant breast, wrapped in bacon, and stuffed with pate’. Holy shmokes. Heart attack on a plate. It tasted divine though. Don’t pretend your mouth isn’t watering.

P.P.S. I was actually very pleased I was not hungover for this meal due to the failure of plans the night before. I like to believe fate wanted to bring me and the pheasant together.

P.P.S. This is quite a long blog post isn't it, congratulations for getting to the end of it, and enjoy this pointless add on!

Grumble

Sometimes I worry that doing a degree based entirely on reading – okay I have to pause now to inform you that one of my housemates just yelled up the stairs at me that she’s making chocolate orange cake, happy days – anyway, where was I?! Oh yeah, my degree. I’m worried it’s ruining my love for reading. I’m worried that I’ve chosen the wrong degree and that I should have done a more objective degree. I’m worried that I look around me in lectures and see a lot of people much more suited to this degree than me, especially some of my best friends, and I’m worried that I have a creative project to submit in 4 weeks when I’m not a remotely creative person. It’s got to a point when I’m delaying starting work, ‘cos I’m convinced it’s not going to be great. Right now, I should be analysing Keats for goodness sake!

My birthday’s a week today, I would normally be buzzing. I’m not. I can’t even quite pinpoint why, it can’t all be due to my educational breakdown surely? I’m happy I’m going home this weekend. Some home comforts should sort me out, as well as a big old catch up with my oldest and bestest.

I didn’t really plan this blog, it just happened because I felt despondent. I’ll stop feeling sorry for myself now and get my arse into gear, then reward myself with the well-timed chocolate cake.

P.S. I definitely just fulfilled one of my New Year’s Resolutions whilst simultaneously breaking a different one. 

I feel like this guy: